Don’t gain weight this holiday season- no dieting necessary

Do you ever wonder why so many people have food cravings? Doesn’t it seem like more and more, people are addicted to sugar? Some to carbs? And yet, a large majority of America is obese and so many try desperately to lose weight, yo-yo dieting with this diet and that diet, promised to lose an X number of pounds only to gain it back.

What’s missing?

I believe that something must be missing if all these diets are so different and yet none of them really work to help people lose weight and keep it off. So, I started searching. Digging deeper. And over the past 15 or so years that I’ve been working with people, I have landed upon something.

I believe that our food cravings are a mis-read signal by our brains, from our body wisdom that’s trying to tell us something. Our body feels a sensation… and that sensation is of a “need” — a deep need for one of the basic human necessities.

According to Anthony Robbins, we humans have six essential needs: variety, significance, certainty, connection/love, growth, and contribution. How interesting that we also have six common food cravings… sugar, spice, salt, carbs, meat, and sour. Of course, some people may crave some tastes over others— that’s just what makes us unique.

I believe that each flavor actually relates to one of the six basic human needs. Please note: this may vary slightly for person to person, based on your childhood patterning, but in general… think back to when you were a child. Weren’t you given sugar in some form when you were being loved? For example, if you did good on a test, you may have gotten candy, and if it was your birthday, probably your favorite cake. Again and again, the love pathway in the brain was reinforced by sugar.

Sugar is the “sweetness of life” — i.e. tries to fulfill the basic human need for love. When ever you need more love (self-love or otherwise) or you need self-care (which is just another form of self-love), your body gives the signal of “love desired” and your brain interprets that signal as “need sugar” and you fulfill on that desire by eating your favorite sweet thing. But, the down side of this is you reinforce that same love-sugar pathway, only to continue having random cravings for sugar. The only way to really break that pathway and create a new pattern is to fulfill the deeper need for love and connection. The next time you have a sugar craving, ask your body what it needs— a hug? time with a good friend? cuddle time with your partner? a hot bath with some lavender scented candles? If you really fulfill the deeper desire, your sugar-craving will disappear, unlikely to come back with the normal frequency… because, well, you just got right to the heart of the matter. Your body needed love and connection and it got love and connection, in whatever form suited you best. Mission complete! Your body is happy, your brain is happy, and… you just created a new love pathway that is based on authentic knowing of yourself. 

Now that you know this, any wonder that we crave sugar during the holidays? We’re stressed out and have such little time to ourselves, sugar feels like a natural thing to help that loneliness— sometimes in the midst of great company. That loneliness is often exaggerated for couples going through infertility… it’s challenging to go through it when your family doesn’t understand what you’re going through. And, friends keep asking when you’re having a baby. If they only knew!

The next time you feel lonely amidst your friends and family, or you feel unloved or not enough, look deeper at some ways that you can express love to yourself — and see if that craving for sugar lasts! Likely, you’ll be through the sugar craving so fast, you won’t even have time to think of pie. And, likely, if you’re amidst people and have so many cakes to choose from and you can’t think very well, you can take a breath and see what your need is… and how it may best be fulfilled without eating that pie in front of you.

Stay tuned for the other tastes and needs connections coming soon…

In the meantime, do you need some support this holiday season? I suggest checking out Infertility Busters TeleSummit. I’m one of the 22 experts on the panel and I have to say, I am very happy with the depth and breadth of information shared in my “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” talk alone– and, I’m sure all the other experts are wonderful also. Check it out.  The Infertility Busters TeleSummit will happen from Dec 9-18th. I look forward to seeing you there!